


What Love Is

by heynhycs



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Boys Being Idiots, Ebb is alive too!, I have no idea how to tag, Lucy is a supermom, M/M, Mutual Pining, Normal AU, Penny loves going to the library, There’s no plot??? What’s a plot anyway???, Yes Lucy and Natasha are alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:01:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23898688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heynhycs/pseuds/heynhycs
Summary: Simon thought he knew what love is until Agatha broke up with him. He was confused because he thought Agatha was the one he will marry. He felt that 'everything's in slow-motion', Penny was talking about. So what's wrong? Why doesn't it feel right? True?Maybe Penny was wrong...Love isn't a slow-motion...It is a 'fast-forward'.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow/Other(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Slow-motion

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic today and finish writing it after eight hours more or less. I’m just glad I finished writing it before I run out of ideas. This was Normal AU. I made some small changes, like Baz and Simon just met after Agatha broke up with Simon. Lucy is alive, so is Ebb and Natasha. Of course, the mage is dead because i don’t like him 😈. anyway, I hope you will like it 💓 Enjoy reading! And thank you in advance 😊

Simon thought he knew what love is. He was pretty sure he was in love with Agatha. The first time he saw her, everything is in slow-motion... the way her blonde hair sways in the wind, the way she easily moves like gravity doesn't exists, and the way she just... exists. 

I asked Penny before how she knew what love is, and she said that when she saw Micah, it feels like everything is in slow-motion, or so she thought. Just then, I knew I was in love with Agatha. I loved her... yes, but as time goes by, it doesn't feel true. The more I spend with her, the more I thought I loved her not the right way. It doesn't make sense even to myself. Why doesn't it felt right? What is love? How do you know what love really is? 

Ugh. I hate thinking just as much as I hate solving math problems because well... it requires thinking. I don't think things like other people do. I just act, and do it and just be done with it. That's easier for me. Thinking is not my forte. 

So why now? Why am I thinking of what love is in the first place? 

Ah right. Because Agatha broke up with me, a few days ago. We've been together for so long, I thought we will end up getting married. I was wrong though. Agatha said she felt that 'this' relationship isn't going anywhere when both our hearts are not into it anymore. I guess, she felt that way too. For me, being her boyfriend feels more like a responsibility than feelings. I'm just glad that she said we will still remained friends. I'm pretty sure it will be awkward at first, but still... we've been good friends way before we started dating.

"Simon. Are you okay? You're awfully quiet today" Penny said. She stopped writing her essay homework so she can give me all her attention. 

"Uhhhh... i'm just thinking" I said distractedly. My math homework was long forgotten and I'm just staring into space. 

"Simon, you never think" she said pointedly and if we aren't inside the library, I would have laugh at what she said, because she's right.

"I know. You don't have to remind me. It just that I'm thinking about Aggie and our relationship. I thought I loved her, you know? But when we broke up, I didn't get hurt.. yes, I was sad but not hurt. Ughh, is that weird?" 

"Hmm. Not really. You see, Simon, I've been friends with you for so many years and I was there when you met Agatha. I was there when you got the courage to ask her out. I was happy for the both of you but to be frank, I have a feeling it wouldn't last. I mean, if only you can see what I saw when I looked at the both of you... No offence but it looks like you liked the idea of her, but not really her. And same goes to Agatha. I felt that you were pressured to ask her out on a date just because our classmates said you will look good together." Penny said truthfully. 

I think of what she said and maybe, she was right. No, she is right. Penny knows me more than I know myself. 

"Do you think I will ever find someone I will fall in love with? Like for real" 

"Of course. Now do your homework and stop saying crappy things." 

I giggled and start battling with math equations.


	2. First Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Penny who told me who he was and what college he was in. Penny said he was really popular because he's really smart ("but of course, I'm smarter" she added) and very rich and he plays soccer.
> 
> He plays S O C C E R. 
> 
> Gosh.

"Simon. Will you please tell me why we are following Baz again?"

"Shh. He will hear us." I whispered to her as we slowly follow Baz on his way to the back of the school. 

Baz Pitch. Or Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch is the son of one of the great professors here in our university, Natasha Grimm-Pitch. She is Penny's favorite professor. Penny have all her research journals and books. She's a fanatic, if you asked me. 

"Simon, this is getting ridiculous. You've been obsessing with Baz since last week. I know you hate him but c'mon, why do you have to follow him everywhere?" she asked for the nth time. 

"Penny, I know Baz is up to something. I mean, he is acting weird and he's been so cautious since last week. I know he's doing something evil. Do you think this is where he drained and hide the corpses of his victims?" I asked her. She gave me a look that says "You-are-insane"

"Still into your vampire theory, I see" 

"It's not a theory. I mean, look at him. He's like... the real life version of Edward Cullen" I said to her. All pale and mysterious and handsome. 

Wait. Did I say handsome?

"So you mean, Baz is gorgeous like Edward Cullen?" she said looking at me with mischief.

"W-what?! I never said that"

"It was implied"

"There's no implications! Ugh. Can you just shut up and follow quietly?" I pleaded. This is getting us nowhere and we have to stop bickering before Baz found out we are following him. Wait, speaking of Baz.

"Great! Now he's gone. We have lost him" This is so frustrating. We've been following him for days now, but it's always around here in this place that we lost track of him. It's like he just vanishes into thin air.

"I'm telling you, Simon. You have to stop doing this. Your rivalry with Baz is getting more out-of-hand and ridiculous. Just why do you hate him so much? Yes, he was rude and thinks highly of himself but why does it affects you so much?" 

"I... I don't think I hate him Penny. I just don't like him. He was a prick to me first, so I'm just returning the favor"

I met Baz at the end of last semester. I accidentally bumped into him in the coffee shop near our university. Well, I was really sorry for bumping into him and splashing my coffee on his suit (seriously, why is he wearing suit?). He looks surprise when he saw me and then all of sudden, he started saying bad things about me. He was very creative on his choice of words, if I may add. I know it was my fault but he doesn't have to be rude, you know? After that awful first meeting, I've been bumping into him more than ever and he's been antagonising me ever since then. It's like fate is punishing me for eating so many scones and butter all at once. 

It was Penny who told me who he was and what college he was in. Penny said he was really popular because he's really smart ("but of course, I'm smarter" she added) and very rich and he plays soccer. 

He plays S O C C E R. 

Gosh.

"Whatever. Can we go now? We still have to go to the library" she didn't wait for me and start marching to the library. 

I took a one last glance at the place where we lost Baz before I follow after her.

"Someday, I'm going to know what you're up to, Baz." I mumbled.


	3. So Pretty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, Baz Pitch is blushing. This tall, pale and handsome vampire is blushing. I have to mark this day on my calendar, to commemorate this day.
> 
> Goodness, tell Penny to write the date on my grave if I die today.

"I didn't know you like soccer" Penny said as the crowd around us starts going crazier and louder.

"Of course, I like it. It's cool!" I said, as I watch our school scored another point. The score is now on our favor. Baz clapped his hands to get the attention of his teammates and started giving commands. He is not only a player of the soccer team but it's captain, too. The talented prick. 

"Hmm. I never saw you watch soccer games before. I'm just surprise"

"Well, I don't like it very much but I'm interested on it. You think I'll pass if I try-out next semester?"

"I guess. You seem pretty athletic to me. Though, are you sure about it? You will have to get along with Baz since you will be a team, after all"

"Penny, I said 'if I try-out'. I don't have knowledge about soccer. I just like the adrenaline and excitement it gives me" 

I don't even know the rules except kick the ball, defend the ball and score. That's pretty much what I know about it.

"You are hopeless" she said and I just laugh and continue cheering for our team. Baz Pitch is ruthless on and off the pitch. Ruthless but graceful. He is like dancing with how he moves swiftly around his opponents. 

"so pretty"

I slapped my face with my hands when I realized what I just said. Gosh, this is weird. I'm getting weird. My face is getting hot and I know I look like tomatoes, right now.

"Are you okay? You're so red in the face." 

"huh? ah yeah. It is so hot in here. The heat is getting to me, that's all" I tried to assure her. 

These days, I think I becoming crazy. Sometimes, I find myself thinking of Baz, of touching Baz's hair, of smelling Baz because he smells like bergamot and cedar, and it smells really good. I don't know what's happening with me. Is it normal to think that way to your sworn nemesis?

I didn't realize that the game ended until Penny snaps her fingers in front of my face to get my attention. 

"Simon, let's go" She said as she gets her school bag and walks down the benches. I look at the score and saw that we won. I smiled and looks for Baz but I cannot find him. Guess he is already on their locker room. I shrug and followed after Penny. 

I was walking down the hallway when I saw Baz and despite my better judgment, I started walking towards him. Baz felt my presence before he saw me since he's back is facing me. 

"Niall, why are you --" he said grumpily as he turned his face to me "... late" he continues. His gray eyes are wide and mouth hanging open as he stares at me. 

"Uhh hi" I said to him. I sounded lame even to myself. What am I doing here? Gosh, this is stupid. 

He closes his mouth and slings back a piece of hair behind his ears and watches me curiously, albeit suspicious before he answered.

"Hello. What a surprise. To whom do I owe this pleasure, Salisbury?" he said, eyebrows arching at me. 

"Uhh. I-i'm. I just..." I stammered. I can't say the words I wanted to say. Baz Pitch had rendered me speechless. As always.

He looks at me, sadistically amused and something else... something foreign that I can’t figure out.

"Use your words, Salisbury" That's his favorite phrase. It's not like I choose to stutter around him. His presence just unnerves me and he makes me really anxious.

"We don't have all the precious time in the world, Salisbury. I have more important things to do than watch you embarrass yourself" 

Prick. 

"You really are rude. Can you stop being a pretentious twat and act like a human being for five minutes? Or is it that hard for a guy like yourself?" I spat. Here I thought we can talk without fighting. 

I really regret approaching this guy.

Baz was taken aback of what I've said. I look up at him (because he's taller than me by three-inches... what a pain) and brace myself for any retorts but nothing came. 

"Fine. What do you want?" he sighed exasperatedly. Ha! One point for me.

"W-well. I just wanted to... uh, congratulate you for winning the game yesterday. It was.. It was fun. And you... I mean you and your team did well. So, I.. yeah. That's all" I said nervously. My hands are shaking so bad and I just know my face is all red right now. 

Baz was looking at me like he can't believe what I just said. He actually looks like he didn't comprehend it because he just stare and stare at me. 

"Hey... say something"

"Uhm..." 

Oh my god, Baz Pitch is blushing. This tall, pale and handsome vampire is blushing. I have to mark this day on my calendar, to commemorate this day. 

Goodness, tell Penny to write the date on my grave if I die today.

"hmm"

"T-thanks" he finally said and he tries to look anywhere but me. I wanted to touch him. I never felt this strong impulse to touch anyone but I want to... no, I need to touch him.  
I bring my hand to touch his face and I almost did it, good thing I stopped myself before it happened. 

Baz is now looking at me and my hand that is hanging in the air in front of us. 

"Uhm... right! I have to go. Penny is probably looking for me. Bye!" I awkwardly wave at him and started walking-half-running away from Baz... from embarrassment... from everybody.

"Simon, wait." I heard Baz called after me and I stopped from thinking of ways how to vanish. I stopped not because he told me so but because he said my name.

FUUUU. I really love this day. 

"You called me by my name" I stated the obvious and he rolled his eyes at me. 

"Yes. That's your name"

"Yeah. That's the first time I heard you said it" I told him honestly. It's always been 'Salisbury' or 'Idiot' but never my first name.

"Really? Anyway. Are you free on weekends? Since you say I did great... I mean my team, I think its only right for you to treat me" he said, expecting me to say no.

"What? Why would I need to treat you? We're not friends"

"You don't have to be friends to treat someone" he said stubbornly.

I wanted to say yes... but what if this is some kind of plot? I mean, he hates me and I sort-of hate him, I guess, so why? 

"Fine. I have household chores to do until 12 p.m. but after that I'm free" I told him. And again, he looks surprise, I bet he assumed I will decline his offer but I never decline on any challenges before, not with him.

"Uhm... Alright, so let meets around 6?" He asked me cautiously. Still can't believe I said yes. 

"Sure..." I almost said 'It's a date'.

I am really getting weirder and weirder these days.

"See you, Baz" I said, smiling. 

"Yeah. See you" Baz said and he started walking away, but before that I am 100 percent sure I saw him smiled. 

"So pretty" I mumbled and start walking to my next class while still thinking of what happened.


	4. Fast-forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wow. It must be hard to love someone for that long"
> 
> "Yeah. It really is" it took me few seconds to notice that Baz is staring at me. 
> 
> "What?" I asked him but he shrugs and focus his eyes on the screen. We remained silent after that. I wonder what he was thinking.

"Mom, how did you know that you loved Dad?" I asked as I look at my mom, Lucy, who's cooking our meal for tonight's dinner. She stopped cutting the carrots and looks at me curiously before answering.

"I just knew" she said simply. Eh? that's answer is so vague.

"Can you elaborate? Penny said for her, when she first saw Micah, it felt like everything is in slow-motion" 

"Slow-motion, eh? For me, it's more like a 'fast-forward'"

"fast-forward?" I asked incredulously. Why is it fast-forward? 

"Yes. When I saw your father, I just knew he was the one. It felt like everything is happening so fast before my eyes. I can see myself marrying your father and having kids with him" she said, smiling but her smile is awfully sad that I forgot what to say, so I just hugged her tight. 

"I'm sorry for asking, Mom" 

"Don't be silly. I'm okay. it's okay, bud" she said as she wrapped her strong arms around me. My mother is the fiercest and strongest woman I know. I'm so proud and lucky to have her and I will do anything to protect her.

He calls me bud, short for rosebud. Sometimes, when I can't sleep because of nightmares, she will sing me a lullaby and call me her rosebud boy.

My father... my father was a good man until he went crazy and started doing awful things to me. He used to be a politician but when he lost the election, he lost his mind. He used to tell me about his plans, his projects if he wins, they were good. My mother said my father had big dreams for us, for our country. But after he lost, he became violent and did awful things. I was eleven years old when I found out my father tried to kill the guy who won the votes, and my father ended up dead on the attempt.

Seven years had past since that day. Sometimes, I can still feel him beside me, whispering the big things he planned for me, saying that I'm the chosen one, that I will be the one to carry his ideals, and that he will punish me if I won't do it, and that I won't like it.

That was what my dream is all about. But Mom... Mom is always there to tell me that it's okay. I'm okay. She chases away the nightmares with her lullabies and her soothing voice that lulls me to sleep.

"So. Who's the lucky girl?"

"huh?" it takes me a moment to backtracked on our conversation. 

"the girl you like? I figured you like someone" she adds.

"eh? not really. I'm just curious, that's all" I tried to tell her. I hope she will dismiss it but nope, my mother is stubborn just like me.

"Really? I don't think so. Who is it?" 

"I-- uhm." 

"C'mon, humor your mother" she said teasingly.

"I don't think I like... him" I said, no more like whispered to her. Mom was silent for few seconds before she laughs and pokes my cheeks.

"Aha! So you like this guy" 

"I told you. I don't think I like ... him. He was really rude to me when we first met. Fine, he's handsome and really smart and fit as hell but it doesn't mean he has the right to be rude" I said stubbornly.

"Hmm. so this handsome, really smart and fit as hell guy you don't like was rude to you?"

"Geez. Yes and he antagonize me even when I'm not doing anything. I'm pretty sure he hates me"

"It seems to me that this guy likes you" she said honestly.

"What? Of course not. Nope. Impossible"

"No, listen to me. I think he just want your attention. And the only way he can do it is to tease you. Maybe he is like you. Awkward and shy at first and doesn't know how to act on his feelings" She smiled at me as she tried to explain the impossibility that Baz Pitch likes likes me.

"Awkward? Shy? Definitely not Baz. The boy oozes with confidence and self-esteem, Mom. One look from him and I am rendered speechless" 

"Aah. To be young and in love" Mom said as she sighs and continued cutting the vegetables. 

"Mom, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, bud, I'm listening. I just don't understand why you refuse the idea of Baz liking you" 

"Well, it defies all logic and reasoning. He can't like someone like... like me. Someone broken" I told her, my voice broke at the end of the sentence. 

He can't like someone who's broken. I'm not like him. I'm not smart or rich. I'm just... Simon. Just Simon.

I didn't realize that Mom's holding my face between her hands until she forces me to look at her.

"Look at me, Simon. You. Are. Not. Broken." she said fiercely, "You are brave, kind and the most selfless person I know. What happened in the past did not broke you. It made you stronger. You fought and survive and will continue living your life the way you want to. You are hurt but never broken. Always remember that"

I smiled and nods, as my tears continue to fall. 

Hurt but never broken. I loved that.

So. Today is the day! Oh my gods, I'm going to a date with Baz. I mean, I'm treating Baz a dinner tonight. 

"Simon, are you ready? Did you wear that shirt I told you? Did you styled your hair? Put cologne? Brush your teeth?" Mom said as she furiously knocks my bedroom door. She was more excited than me.

"Mom, I told you. This is not a date. And stop panicking!" I said as I opened my door and let her in. She took the comb from my hand and started styling my hair.

"Aww. You look so handsome, bud. Baz won't be able to take his eyes off of you" she said, and patted my shoulder. She looks proud at my appearance. This is the first time since I dated Agatha, that I look presentable. Most days, I only wear jumpers and trousers since I don't really care of how I looks. But Mom seems keen to make sure I look best to meet Baz.

"Stop it, mom. You are embarrassing me"

"Shush now. Remember what I told you? Use utensils and eat slowly, be nice and no sex on first dates" 

"MOM!" I said, frustration evident on my voice. This is really embarrassing.

"Fine. Fine. You can kiss him but no sex" 

"Right. I'm leaving now. Bye" I took my phone and wallet and give her a kiss on her cheek and waved goodbye. 

I will die of embarrassment before I am able to leave this house.

"MAKE SURE TO SEND ME MESSAGES. I WANT UPDATES, YOUNG MAN" she yelled since I'm already at the front door.

"NO PROMISES" I yelled back and laughs as I opened the door and went outside my house.

I saw Baz leaning on his Jaguar, looking like a Calvin Klein model. I know I'm blushing again, so I stopped walking and tried to calm myself first before walking towards him. When I'm sure I have calmed down a bit, I approached him.

Baz was looking at his phone when I stopped in front of him.

"Hi" Baz looks at me. And continues to look at me. He's staring for five seconds longer than usual. 

"Hi" He said, sheepishly. His cheeks are flushed and gods, I want to touch him.

"So, shall we? Where do you want to go?" I asked him as we enter his car.

"Where do you want to go? It's your treat anyway"

"Okay. I have a place in mind" I told him the address to the shop that I really like. The ride to Ebb's was long and awkward. I don't know what to say and he is not saying too so we just sat in silence for an hour.

"We are here" he said. I nod at him and opened the door and wait for him outside. 

"You come here often?" He asked.

"Yep. The food's really good here, plus you can watch movies for free" I told him. 

"Hmm" 

"C'mon. I told Ebb that I'm going here with a friend so she already reserved a table for us" 

Good thing that I knew Ebb personally, so it wasn't difficult to get reservations especially on weekends. The shop's popular around here and is always full on days like this.

"Simon! Good to see ya!" Ebb shouted behind the counter. I smiled at her and give her a hug. I missed her. She's like my aunt. Mom's a close friend of her.

"Good to see you too, Ebb. How's the business?" 

"Oh. It's good. Really good. So, this your friend, ye?" I nod at her. 

"Ebeneza Petty, but please do call me Ebb" she said as she introduced herself to Baz.

"Baz Pitch, but you can call me Baz" he said nervously. I can tell he is getting anxious with Ebb's gaze. Well, Ebb looks at you like she knows what you are thinking. She's very sensitive but really wise. 

"Pitch, eh? Are you Fiona's nephew?" she asked curiously. Baz looks shocked and nods.

"Ah. Guess it runs in the blood. You have this confident looks on you that Fi had back on our freshmen days" she said, jokingly.

"She still have it. Didn't know Fiona have friends" Baz said, more like asked.

"Of course. Though, if you asked her, I bet she won't admit that I'm her friend. She's stubborn" that statement made Baz and I laugh. I don't know his aunt but she awfully sounds like Baz.

"Right. Your favorite spot is open. I'll go and get ready your food" 

"Thanks!" I told her. I lead Baz to my favorite spot. 

"So, you have an aunt? Is she your father's sister or your mother?"

"My mom." he said simply as he fiddles on his straw. 

"Right. So, do you have games next week?" 

"Yep. We're going to play with Wimbleton next week, and if we win, we are going to the finals" he said, smiling. 

He looks good smiling. I want to tell him that but he might think I'm weird so I didn't.

"I know we will win. We have you" before I can think, my mouth opened on its own and said those words. Gosh. 

"I... um. Thanks" Baz said, as he stares at me. Both of us are blushing and I tried to stop myself from staring at him but I'm failing so miserably.

"Here's your food" Ebb said as she put the tray on our table. The thing I really like on this restaurant is that Ebb knows what to give us. 

"Enjoy boys" she said.

"I like her. She's weird, but I like her" Baz said as he eats. He was conscious of eating at me first but I told him not to. 

"Yeah? My mother is friends with her. She likes goats. One time, she told me that her dream was to be a goatherd" I said, laughing. 

"Really? I never knew someone dreams of being a goatherd"

"well, now you know her" I said, jokingly. 

"When is the movie?" 

"Oh right! It starts at 7:00. It's an hour and a half long, is that all right?" 

"Perfect. I mean, yes." 

We finished eating our food, I told Baz that I'll buy snacks for the movie and told him to go to the backyard of the shop where we will watch the movie. It's an outdoor activity, and I love it. Sitting on the grass, stars above us. I love it. This is my favorite part.

"Hey, this is a good spot" I told Baz. He's sitting on the a mat that Ebb gave us. 

"Yes. By the way, this is interesting. Is this Ebb's idea?" He asked.

"Uhh not really. I sort of told her something about this, said it will be cool if we can watch movies in the backyard and enjoy the night's breeze" I said shyly.

"Oh. It's really cool. I like it"

"Thanks. Anyway, here's your super-sweet drink and snack" I emphasised the word sweet because the drink is really sweet. I smiled to myself, knowing that Baz likes sweets.

"What are we watching?" 

"Dunno. Ebb said it's a new one. Said it was about a boy who was chosen to fight the bad guy and save the world of Mages" 

"So, it's a fantasy. I wonder if it's good"

After five minutes Ebb turns on the projector and the movie started and everyone was quiet. 

"Woah. That so cool. He slay a dragon. And oh my god, is that a chimera?" 

"Salisbury, lower your voice. We are not the only people here" Baz whispered close to my ear. I tried to fought the shivers the run through me. 

"Uhh. Sorry" I didn't realize we are so close to each other. I can smell his cologne and can see how long his eyelashes. 

"I like that vampire. He is smart and really good at using his magic not like the chosen one. Pft, he is the worst chosen one that ever chosen" he said laughing.

"What about him? That boy is cool. I like him. Just because he can't control his magic, doesn't mean he's an idiot" I said defensively. I like the protagonist. 

"Haha. Of course you like him. You are so much alike. Both of you sucks at using your words" Baz is teasing me again. 

"Whatever. And he's good with sword" I add and we continue to watch the movie.

Oh. Didn't see that coming. 

The vampire guy is in love with the chosen one. Oh my god. 

"Wow. It must be hard to love someone for that long"

"Yeah. It really is"it took me a second to know that Baz is staring at me. 

"What?" I asked him but he just shrug and focus his eyes on the screen. We remained silent after that. I wonder what he was thinking. 

"Uhh" I was so surprise when the kissing scene comes out. 

That's so... romantic. Everything around them was on fire and they were kissing like their lives depend on it. 

"Didn't see that coming" Baz said. His cheeks are red.

"Yeah. Guess, they're both idiots. Didn't know they like each other" I said.

"Yeah, maybe they really are" he said thoughtfully. What is he thinking right now? Why am I curious? 

I was going to ask him about it but then I saw Baz eyes widen looking intently on the screen.

Oh. That's... that's horrifying. Why? Why did the Mage do that? Why did he killed the goatherd? Just why? 

I didn't know I was crying until Baz give me his handkerchief. His arm around my shoulder, warmth and comforting.

"Thanks" I mumbled. We stayed like that until the movie ends. 

"So that was good" I said after the screen goes black and one by one, the people start to grab their things to leave.

"Yeah. It was really good" 

"It's already on the list of my favorites" I told Baz. We are walking toward his Jaguar. It's almost 9 p.m. and we are already tired. 

"Me too. There's a line that I really like from the movie"

"Really? Care to tell me. We might have the same favorite line" 

"Doubt it. It's on the last scene. When the vampire told the chosen one that he chose him" 

I look at him curiously. I can’t see Baz as the romantic type but well, I don't really know him. 

"That was good too. Mine is when the chosen one said that it's okay not to be okay. I liked that. Feels nice to hear from someone especially when you are feeling sad"

"Right. We are here" 

What a shame. We are already in front of my house. 

"So?" 

"So?" 

"See you at school?" I said hopefully. I want to see him at school and maybe outside the school. 

"Yeah. By the way, I really enjoyed everything we did tonight. Thank you for the treat, Simon" Baz give me a small smile as he opens the door of his car.

"You should smile more. It looks good on you. Bye, take care" I told him and waves him goodbye.

I ran towards my house and knocks furiously at the door. Mom was waiting behind the door, smiling like she wins the lottery.

"Did you have fun? Did he like it? When am I meeting this guy? What happen to your not-a-date? Did you kissed him? Am I going to be a grandmother now?" Mom said excitedly.

"Yes. Yes. I don't know. It went good. Nope, we just ate and watch a movie. He's a guy for pete's sake" I answered her questions as simple as I can without giving too much information.

"Eh. You are so slow. You should have attack him. I only saw him for few second but agreed that he looks handsome, really smart and fit as hell"

"I thought you said no sex on first dates?" I asked her. She shrugs and bumps her shoulder on mine.

"I thought you said it is not a date?"

"It isn't. Can I rest now. I'm so tired and wants to sleep" 

"Fine. But you have to tell me the details of your not-a-date tomorrow. Understood?" 

"Yeah, sure mom. Night. Love you" I kissed her goodnight.

"Sleep well, bud. Dream of Baz" she teases me again before she went to her own room.

Dream of Baz? 

Sure I will.


	5. Oh.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Baz looks ruthless on the pitch,   
> Right now, here on this small room, he looks almost like an angel playing the harp.   
> It was the most beautiful thing I have seen.

This must be the first time that I am excited for school. First time that I was early and wear clothes beside my usual jumpers and trousers. 

"Looking good, Simon" Mom said when I sat beside her. 

"You always said that" I told her.

"But this time I actually meant it" she said teasingly. 

"What? So you mean other times you don't mean it" 

"Just kidding. You always look good. You have my good looks and physique" she said proudly. 

"Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for your good looks, mom" 

"Haha, don't sulk now. You have to look good and cheerful today since you're going to meet Baz again" 

at the mention of his name, I can't help but smiled again. We texted so much last night. We almost talked about everything. We talked about the movie too.

"oh, to be young and in love" she said again as she patted my hair.

"I'm not in love, Mom. We are just friends"

"Yeah. Just friends. Very convincing. Try again later" 

"Tsk, whatever. I'm going to school now. Take care. Love you" I kissed her goodbye before she teases me again.

"No sex on second dates, too" she said laughing. Very funny.

I went to the bus station and wait patiently for my bus. I'm getting more and more anxious. I want to see Baz and talk to him again. Last saturday was really fun and I think we became friends. 

I checked my bag pack for Baz's handkerchief. I forgot to give it back before. I washed it clean and made sure it smells nice. Even his handkerchief looks expensive. His initials are stitched on the handkerchief. 

My first two class for the morning ended well, and now its lunch. Just like usual, Penny and I are the first one in the cafeteria. 

"So, what did you do on your weekends?" Penny asked me after sometime. I stopped eating for a second. I forgot to tell her about Baz and the not-a-date.

"Uhh nothing much" I said and shrug. I don't know how to tell her. Last week, I was fighting Baz and then something weird happened and we ended up somewhat friends.

"Really?" she said suspiciously.

"Yes. Don't worry Pen. I made sure to answer my homeworks for this week"

"That's good. I'm going to check beforehand, to make sure you answered it correctly" 

Penny is really strict, just like his mom. I forgot to tell you, both her parents are professors too. That's why she is so smart.

"'Kay, thanks. By the way, you should go to the library first. I have to go somewhere first"

"Okay" 

I bring my bag pack and my scones with me as I walked quickly behind the school to meet with Baz. I told him I'm going to give back his handkerchief.

"Hi" I said when I saw him sitting on one of the benches.

"Hello, Salisbury" 

"Do you ever get tired of saying my last name?" I asked him. I liked it when he calls me Simon. 

"Nope" he said pooping the 'p', as if taunting me.

"Prick. Here's your handkerchief"

"I almost thought you have won't give it back"

"What do you think of me? Just so you know, I don't like expensive handkerchiefs because it's expensive"

"Nice argument. Very convincing. Anyway, are you going to the library?"

"Uh yeah. Why?"

"I want to show you something" he said as he leads me into the trees. 

"You know, I used to follow you but always lost you around here" I told him. We continued walking until we stopped in front of a room. 

"I know. You weren't very subtle" he took the keys from his bag and opens the door to let us in.

"I didn't know there's a room around here" I told him as I eyed the small room. I saw a small couch, a mini table and a violin case. It's very simple.

"It's because your observational skills sucks"

"Shut up. Anyway, is this room yours?"

"Not really. It's a school property. I asked one of the janitors to give me this room so I could practice my violin in peace" 

"Woah. You play violin?" I asked him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Never in my wildest dream did I imagine Baz playing a violin. This is more shocking than when I found out he's the captain of the soccer team.

"Yes. I thought you knew? You were always following me around for a week. Didn't you see me holding the violin case?"

"Well, I didn't notice." 

"Psh. Your observational skills are really outstanding, it shocks me. No wonder you didn't notice me" he whispered the last sentence so I can't hear it.

"What did you say?" 

"Nothing. Want me to play you a song?" 

"Really? Sure! I'd love to" Baz dropped his bag on the couch and leans down to get the violin case. He took the violin out of its case and put it gently on his shoulder. He looks at me first and I smiled at him, encouraging him to play already. He smiled and closes his eyes and start playing.

This song was so familiar. I feel like I heard it somewhere before. Realization hits me when the song picks up its rhythm. It was the official soundtrack of the movie we watched before.

If Baz looks ruthless on the pitch,   
Right now, here on this small room, he looks almost like an angel playing the harp.   
It was the most beautiful thing I have seen. 

As I continue to watch him play, random thoughts come running through my mind... 

I saw myself watching Baz play his violin in the beach,

I saw myself gives Baz a hug when he won the soccer game,

I saw him... saw him walking down the aisle towards me, looking so handsome and confident. He looks perfect in that tailored suit. He looks stunning and so Baz.

And then ... I saw myself kissing him in front of the altar and our families and friends.

I saw myself happy, living together with Baz. 

Baz.

I couldn't stop the gasp that comes out from my mouth. I couldn't stop the thoughts, I couldn't stop the feeling that those thoughts made me feel. 

Baz.

"Simon, are you okay?" Baz stopped playing the violin as he look at me, concern evident on his face. 

When I look at his face, it's like my future is stretched right before me.   
I see my future with him. But how? 

I remembered what Mom said to me when I asked her how did she knew that she loved Dad and she said it feels like everything is happening so fast. That love is not a 'slow-motion' but a 'fast-forward'. 

And I knew it then.   
Right at this moment, I realized something important. 

"Oh."


	6. What Love Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It all makes sense now. Your obsession with Baz. The soccer. Your constant banters with him. You two were flirting with each other" 
> 
> "W-what? Flirting? Baz and me? That's not... that wasn't..." she arches her eyebrow at me, challenging me to tell her that she was wrong. But Penny was always almost right. Although I'm pretty sure she's wrong about this.

After what happened in the practice room, it became harder to talk to Baz. The more I spend time with him, the more I want to touch him, to kiss him and to do... things to him.

This is awful. He will hate me if he know what I was thinking about him. And I don't like the idea of Baz hating me again. 

"Simon, you're spacing out again. Are you alright?" Penny asked me for the third time. We are back on the library to study for finals. Well, Penny is studying while me is trying not to think about Baz and his talented fingers and his pouty mouth and his silky hair.

"I'm alright, Penny. Just tired for pulling an all-nighter last night" 

"I did told you study to study before your quiz but you didn't listen"

"Whatever, at least I was able to answer the questions" I told her. 

"You've been kinda weird since the day you left the cafeteria and went somewhere. What really happened, Simon?" she is giving me THE looks that says 'tell-me-the-truth-or-i'll-punch-you-in-the-gut'

"It was Baz" 

"Baz? What about him? Did the two of you get into a fight again?"

"No, something worst happened" 

"What's the worst thing that happened?" she said, all eyes on me. 

I should tell her. She's my best friend and she knows what to do. She always been the smarter on in this group. 

"I.. I uh... IrealizedthatI'minlovewithBaz" I said quickly holding my breath.

"What? Why are you speaking so fast?"

"I'm in love with Baz" I said slowly, almost like a whisper. 

I waited and waited for her reaction. It took a minute before Penny started laughing. 

"Oh my gosh. Simon. Pft." 

"Penny, stop laughing, Students are looking our way. The librarian will kick us out if she saw you" I tried to cover her mouth with my hands but she continues to laugh. It feels like forever before she calms down.

"It all makes sense now. Your obsession with Baz. The soccer. Your constant banters with him. You two were flirting with each other" 

"W-what? Flirting? Baz and me? That's not... that wasn't..." she arches her eyebrow at me, challenging me to tell her that she was wrong. But Penny was always almost right. Although I'm pretty sure she's wrong about this.

"That's Baz always give you that looks. I understand now. He was pining over you. Oh my gosh, this is hilarious. You two are idiots"

"Pining? Baz is pining over me?"

That's impossible, He didn't know me. 

"Yes. There are times when I caught him staring at you across the room. I thought it was weird at first but then, you also look at him. You give him those hopeful looks on his way when he wasn't looking. I didn't realize what that looks were until now" she was shaking her head and started laughing again.

"And here I thought you two hate each other. I gotta say, Baz was a good actor, he was able to conceal his feelings through his rude attitude towards you. Fooled me and everyone" 

"Penny, can you hear yourself? Baz doesn't have feelings for me"

"Shush. You are too oblivious to notice it. So what are you going to do?" 

I just look at her and shrug. I don't know what to do.

"Have you confess your feelings to him?" I shake my head.

"Not yet? Oh my gosh, what am I going to do with you? You are so hopeless"

"I was thinking that maybe you can help me? I don't want to destroy the friendship I built with Baz because of these feelings. It was hard to make him like me. I don't want to lose him, Pen"

"Stop thinking awful things. Trust me, he likes you as much as you like him. Confess your love for him. He's a fool and a coward if he won't accept your confession."

"But..." 

"No buts... when are you going to meet him again?"

Meet again? He has a soccer game this coming friday. So I might talk to him after the game.

"This friday? There's a soccer game"

"Great, It's settled then. You'll tell him he likes you, and he will tell you that he likes you too. Then I will be free from your non-stop talking about Baz and his evil plots.

"Are you sure about this?" 

"Yes. I'm sure. The real question is, are YOU sure about what you feel?" 

I know what she meant by that. If I was mistaken about my feelings again, it will get me in trouble. 

But Baz is different. My feelings are real. I never felt this thing before, not to Agatha and not to anyone. 

"I'm sure" I said simply. She nods at me and patted my shoulder to show her support.

Days passed quickly and now it's Friday. I'm going to meet Baz. I texted him good-luck  
and told him I want to tell something important to him after the game.

I was so nervous all day long and before the game starts, Baz looks at my direction and gives me a small smile. I smiled in return and hold my fist in the air.

He laughs a little before he starts running after the ball. 

"Gosh. You two are disgusting" Penny mumbles.

"What? We aren't doing anything" I said giving her looks.

"You are giving him that lovey-dovey looks Simon"

"No, I'm not" 

"Yes, you are. Imagine if you really end up together and I have to endure these gross stuffs every day"

"You are such a drama queen" 

"I'm not. Just stating the truth. You have to promise me that you won't flirt in front of me or I will strangle you to death. You don't get to flirt with your boyfriend when I'm around. It's not fair"

"Alright. Fine. If, for some miracle, Baz become my boyfriend, we will try not to flirt in front of you" I promised her. It's not like I know that I'm giving these looks to Baz on purpose. I didn't realize I'm doing it in the first place.

The game was fast but brutal. Of course, we won and now our team will go to the finals. I saw Baz being hugged by his teammates. 

He stopped shaking their hands to look at my direction, and he holds his right fist in the air, just like what I did before. I laughs and holds my fist up, too. 

Okay. It's time.

"Good luck, Simon" Penny whispers to my ears as she pushes me to Baz who's already walking towards me.

"Hi"

"Hello, Snow" 

After he founds out what my middle name is. He changes from Salisbury to Snow instantly. He said it was hard to say my last name. Too many syllables. 

"Uhh. That was a good game. You played so well"

"Of course, I did. You were watching me after all. Gotta do my best for my biggest fan" he said teasingly. 

The prick. When he found out that I started liking soccer because of him, he never cease on teasing me. 

"Yeah. And now your biggest fan is going to confess his feelings"

I walked closer to him. My shaking hand touching his. My other hand gently cupping his right cheek. 

"Baz..." I started, "I thought I knew what love is, but I was wrong. I only had one girlfriend and we broke up because I don't know how to love her the right way. I thought she was the one I will marry... I was wrong. It wasn't her, Baz. It was you. I like you. I'm not a perfect guy. I'm not as athletic as you, or smarter, or rich, I was a teribble boyfriend, but I'll do my best to keep you. Baz Pitch, will you be my boyfriend?" 

Baz's eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly open. I can see how red his face becomes after my confession. His cheeks are so warm. And I want to kiss him right here and then. But he is not saying anything. He just keep on looking at me. 

I was really getting anxious and nervous now.

What if Penny was wrong? What if Baz doesn't like me? 

Oh my god, this is awful and embarrassing. 

He's going to hate me after this. And we will fight again. But I don't want that to happen. 

Please say something, Baz.

"Y-yes" he whispered softly. If I wan't close to him, I wouldn't be able to hear it.

"Y-yes?" I asked again?

"Yes, Simon. I want to be your boyfriend. I've been waiting for this since the beginning of the semester" he said truthfully. I didn't know that.

"Huh? So you knew who I was?"

"Of course, how could I not know someone like you" 

Guess, this is Baz way of confessing his feelings. 

Oh my god.

"Wait. So you are my boyfriend now?" 

"Duh. Of course. Stop being an idiot" he said.

"But i'm your idiot now" I teased him but before he could say a retort, I bring my face close to him and kissed him softly. I've been wanting to do this since forever and now I can do it without hesitation. Without holding back. 

He is my boyfriend now. 

Baz Pitch is officially mine.


End file.
